The Pleasure Principle Read online

  When the bike finally slowed, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stand. He stopped and booted out the kickstand, gently leaning the heavy piece of steel to rest. Alice was suffocating in the helmet and she fumbled with the unfamiliar buckle in a panic. Brax pulled away and she felt cold where his body had been. His experienced hands took over and removed the headgear.

  Alice’s eyes were watering and she allowed him to help her off the bike. Her legs felt like jelly after the sustained pleasure trip she’d just been given. When she got her bearings, she realized they were parked in front of her apartment building.

  “How do you know where I live?” As soon as she asked the question, she realized Anderson must have told him. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Before he could answer, she fired at him again.

  “You also said you were getting ready to go for a ride when I showed up. A ride over here?”

  He shrugged casually and leaned against the leather seat of the motorcycle, crossing his legs. Oh, she could see it then. He was rock hard, pressed so tight against his jeans she could see the definition of his cock as the fabric melded around it. She didn’t have a lot of experience with these things, but it appeared to be very large. It was almost intimidating, and it was because of her.

  Alice raised her gaze to his face, her eyes wide with surprise. He stared back at her, unashamed of his condition as the corners of his mouth turned up. She couldn’t tell what he was thinking. God, she was so bad at this!

  “Do you want to come inside for a little while?” She didn’t sound very sure of her invitation—probably because she wasn’t.

  He looked at his watch and sighed. “If I’m not mistaken, you have an appointment this evening. I have a feeling if I…came inside, you wouldn’t make it.”

  Of course! She was supposed to meet Dr. Cain. How could she forget that? But is that what Brax really wanted her to do?

  “I know what you’re thinking, cher.” He frowned and straddled the bike again. “What I want you to do and what you should do are definitely two different things tonight.”

  He fixed the helmet on his head and raised the kickstand. Without a look back, he rode away. Alice sat on the stoop of her building, her head and her heart full of conflict. Didn’t he want her? She thought he did. But she was too new at this to be sure. And now that he was gone, she realized he was right. She didn’t want to disappoint Dr. Cain. He was so kind to her and treated her better than she’d ever been treated before. Maybe it was for the best that she had some time to work things out.

  * * *

  Brax rode too fast down the causeway, frustrated with the outcome of his meeting with Alicia. He was swollen past the point of comfort and desperately needed to slake his desire before it became painful. Hell, he was past that point too. Damn his bargain with Anderson and damn his growing feelings for one woman.

  There were a dozen submissives at his club that would crawl through ground glass for a chance to satisfy his needs. He didn’t care about any of them. He didn’t want any of them. He wanted Alicia. God, he’d never needed anyone else in his life like he needed her.

  He cursed himself under his breath for being a man of his word. It took strength he didn’t know he had to pass up the offer to come into her apartment. He wouldn’t do it. He owed it to his best friend and if he was sure about one thing in the world, Anderson would keep his end of the bargain as well.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Anderson held the file folder in his hand. Alicia’s name was typed on the label, but he wanted to take the contract out and put it in the shredder. It seemed ridiculous, now. Discovering his feelings for her was more enlightenment than he ever could have imagined when he began to test his subjects for passion and arousal. He thought he needed to be more masterful with his knowledge and technique. It had never occurred to him to that the heart could trump the mind and rule matters of love. Until now.

  And he was beside himself to learn more from her. He feared the reality of his situation, deep inside. Alicia might be the only person he’d ever feel this way for. The studies, the paperwork…it was all garbage. He was in uncharted territory, but she’d been amiable to participating. So he would let her sign it. It was the perfect guise. He would have his 30 days to be with her, but he wouldn’t run the experiment. She deserved better than that.

  He felt a pang of guilt as he opened his laptop, pulling up the paperwork. The conditions within seemed cold and impersonal now. Never any physical contact. He couldn’t allow that clause to remain. All those women who had clung to him at the end… Did they feel for him as he felt for Alicia? He must have seemed like a monster to turn them away so easily, but he truly hadn’t known. It was obvious to him now that love and lust worked hand in hand. His test subjects experienced it, but had never been able to convey it so that he understood.

  Anderson printed out the modified version. It was a shell of its former self. At this point, it was just for show, really. His excuse to see her and be with her. He felt somewhat deceitful, but reminded himself that the premise was still true. He really would be learning from her. Learning about love from the only person on the planet who was capable of teaching him.

  * * *

  Alicia hoped the time she took to get ready would help calm her nerves, but the flutters in her stomach churned to the point where she wasn’t able to eat. She remembered what happened last time she’d arrived at Damsels on an empty stomach, but she couldn’t force anything down.

  Her hair was still damp from the shower and it reached down past the small of her back in wild curls as it dried. Her wardrobe was pretty limited, but a quick trip to the shop across the street helped improve her choices. On her own, she didn’t have the courage to pick up the kind of gown she’d bought with Tommy. Still, she thought she’d gone out of her safety zone with some pretty daring selections.

  The long black velvet dress looked plain on the hanger, but when she slid it over her curves and the supple fabric draped low down her back, it transformed into something glamorous. It all seemed like a dream to her still. But it wasn’t a dream, not anymore. This was truly happening, there were signs of reality.

  She still had to wear her glasses when she put her make up on. The contacts made it difficult to see up close with detail. The clunky frames looked funny on her face in the midst of her magical transformation and Alicia laughed at herself in the mirror. She still couldn’t believe it was her image in the reflection, but little things like that helped her cope.

  Her hair would be dry by the time she reached the Quarter, but the wet feel of it on her exposed back agitated her. She picked up a long scarf and draped it around her neck so it fell over her shoulders and protected her sensitive skin. There wasn’t any time to dry it there, she was late as it was. She didn’t want Dr. Cain to think she wasn’t interested. Nothing could be further from the truth, but even she wasn’t sure what to expect as her heart and her mind couldn’t settle on just one man.

  * * *

  The green door opened. Alice looked into the eyes of a stranger, dressed in a well-tailored suit. He was handsome and polite, but he wasn’t Julian Brax and she felt a small amount of disappointment. It was coupled with a sense of relief when she thought of facing both Anderson and Julian together as she’d done the evening before.

  Her escort took her to the great room, already filled with guests mingling and drinking. A wave of whispers hit her ears and she felt like everyone was looking at her. It was ridiculous, why would they be? She was being self-conscious and it was something she had to get over. It was time to push forward and believe in who she was becoming. She’d been very brave to take the chances she had, and she deserved to feel confident about herself.

  “Is Dr. Cain here this evening?” She smiled at her attendant and batted her eyes the way she’d seen the beautiful people do in the movies.

  “Yes, Ms. Dahl. Would you like me to take you to him?” He blushed as he returned her sultry gaze, and she was surprised by the effect she had on him. So,
he knew who she was then. Maybe she wasn’t being so paranoid after all.

  Alice furtively glanced around the room and verified the fact that others were watching her. She was terrified at first, but soon realized the looks on their faces were curious, even lustful, but none were hurtful in the ways she’d experienced in the past. She almost felt accepted among them.

  The young man in the suit guided her toward the same alcove they’d been in the previous night and she wondered if it belonged to her employer all the time. After a moment’s pause, he parted the curtain and motioned for her to step inside.

  The small room was illuminated solely by candlelight and it had a distinctively different ambiance than the evening before. It took her eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dim atmosphere. Anderson stood next to the table, with three opened bottles of wine. He was wearing form-fitting black slacks and a turquoise, tailored shirt, his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Even in the shadows, she could see his deep blue eyes sweep over her curves in the velvet dress.

  “This is for you.” He fumbled a little with something in his hands and with a deep breath, he handed her a single red rose. She was stunned by his gesture. No one had ever given her flowers before, not once in her life. She’d never been special enough to receive such a romantic gift and she found herself struggling to repress her emotions.

  “I’m sorry about yesterday evening.” He didn’t take his eyes off her as he pulled her chair out and invited her to sit. “Thank you for giving me another chance to see you.”

  Alice looked up at him as he hovered over her, his strong, square jaw clenched with resolve. She thought he was going to say something, but instead he leaned down and brushed her hair away from her face. Anderson closed his eyes and pressed his lips against her forehead. It was incredibly tender, almost reverent, and it took her breath away.

  Her heart pounded in her chest when he released her, his right hand stroking her hair down the length of her back before he withdrew. It was subtle, so light she barely felt it, but it affected her drastically.

  “The bartender couldn’t remember what kind of Cabernet you were drinking last night, so I ordered three of their best vintages. I hope this is acceptable, but if not, I’ll be happy to get you whatever you’re interested in. May I pour you a glass?” He picked up the nearest bottle and showed her the label. She had no idea where the vineyard was from and he appeared anxious.

  “Oh, that looks like the one I liked.” He had gone to such great lengths to please her, she was beginning to feel overwhelmed. She’d never gotten this kind of attention before. In fact, she had never known this kind of attention existed outside of romance novels. So it was real, all of it. And it was happening to her because she had taken one chance.

  Alice wasn’t sure what her role was supposed to be here. When they spoke last he’d asked her if she was interested in his program. Had he changed his mind? She wanted to learn more. He said he needed her and she didn’t want to let him down.

  “Do you still want me, Dr. Cain, for your study?” She felt bold asking him up front, but gained confidence in doing so. Now she’d know for sure if he intended to keep her around.

  “Alicia, I want you…” He stopped short. She thought he was going to say more, maybe explain, but he pulled back and regarded her with intense eyes. She only saw it for a second, but his feelings were written all over his face before he turned away from her. When he presented her with the file folder, he was under control again and she had to wonder if she’d imagined it.

  Her name was typed on the label. When she read it, her heart jumped. He was accepting her. She was in the same class as all the beautiful women who had come before her. This time she hoped she would help Dr. Cain find what he so desperately was looking for. It might be a vain thought, but she wanted to be the last one he ever needed to experiment on.

  She opened the folder and knew right away the contract was different from Beverly’s. It was far shorter. As she read it over she noticed there wasn’t any clause prohibiting physical contact. That couldn’t be right. She’d heard it from his own mouth, hadn’t she? That was something she could never reveal.

  The premise of the program was simple. Observe her arousal levels and the conditions in which they were engaged. It was an unusual study; she could see why he came to a place like Damsels to find test subjects, but the prospect of it was exciting to her at the same time. This was another opportunity to learn about her budding desires.

  She signed the bottom of the contract after she’d read every word. This would be the craziest thing she’d ever done, but there was no reason to stop pushing the envelope now. It’s what the people at this club did every day and none of it was shocking to them. In a way, they were more free than those who would condemn their actions and behavior.

  Alice picked up on a change in Anderson’s body language as she read over the terms of the agreement. He crossed his arms and looked past her shoulder several times into the great room. It occurred so often, in fact, she was tempted to turn around herself to see what had his attention. The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood on end, even though she knew views through the curtain were one way only.

  “Thank you for the wine, Anderson. It’s the best I’ve ever had.” He lightly brushed the back of her hand when he took the file from her. Her skin tingled where he’d touched her and a warm sensation spread through her body. It was still difficult to call him Anderson, but now that she was beginning to know him, he seemed very different from the professional doctor she’d loved from a distance.

  Every single time he looked into her eyes, she could see how he regarded her. She felt uniquely beautiful and special. This was the most wonderful night of her life and her heart felt like it could burst with happiness. Was this a date? She’d never gone on a date in the traditional sense and didn’t know what to expect. Would he kiss her? Did he want to?

  Anderson locked the folder inside his briefcase. He looked past her again and clasped his hands nervously together. His demeanor was beginning contradict to his earlier treatment of her. Was he regretting his decision already? Had she done something wrong?

  “Alicia, would you like to take a walk with me through the Quarter? It’s a beautiful night and the moon will be full when it rises.” She had his attention again as he stood, offering his hand.

  It was warm in the small space, and with the candlelight adding to the heat of her emotions the idea of a stroll through the quarter was incredibly romantic. She rose in agreement, reaching for the flower he’d given her earlier. It was something she couldn’t leave behind and she planned on keeping the memento forever.

  He clasped her free hand and they exited the room like teenagers on a date. She laughed at the thought of it, until she saw the source of Anderson’s distraction. Julian Brax stood behind the bar, his hands balled up in fists and ground into the glossy mahogany of the tabletop. His lips were pressed into a fine white line and she could see turmoil in his eyes as they flashed at her across the room.

  The smile was ripped from her face. A cold feeling of confusion settled in her stomach. He’d been the one to turn away at her apartment. He sent her here tonight, even. Alice felt like the cloud she’d been walking on disintegrated beneath her feet.

  “It’s all right, Alicia. Let’s go.” Anderson’s voice was a lifeline in the chaos and she grabbed onto it. Even if she knew how to do it, now was not the time to sort through her conflicted feelings.

  The night air rushed in when he opened the door to Toulouse and she stopped to breathe. Anderson didn’t push her or crowd her in any way, just waited patiently until she was ready. He tilted his head to the side and smiled, holding out his hand again. He was strikingly handsome as he watched her, and she wanted to reach out and touch his face, to be close to him somehow.

  “Why don’t we walk along Decatur toward Frenchmen. I believe the jazz clubs will be opening soon and I could use a little relaxation.”

  She nodded and they turned toward the river. “So,
you and Julian are pretty good friends?” She didn’t want to ruin the moment, but she had to know and she felt like she could speak to Anderson about anything.

  “Yes we are.” He looked into her eyes, searching for a reaction. “Best friends, in fact. He’s very important to me, Alicia. As are you.”

  He held her hand more protectively. They were passing in front of Jackson Square, dodging the tour groups that gathered every night and the carriage drivers that hawked their services with unapologetic aggressiveness. Anderson was a good man. He’d told her the truth when he didn’t have to and it meant a lot to her.

  Alice heard the smooth, warm sound of a saxophone as they neared the Marigny Parish. They were east of the Quarter now and into an area that had a warm, eclectic bohemian vibe. Neighbors from all cultures sat on their stoops and chatted, while others gathered right in the street for block parties and small parades. She preferred this part of New Orleans over the bright lights of Bourbon Street and was suddenly happy Anderson had chosen to come there.

  Sweet olive trees were blooming all around her, their tiny white blossoms heavy with a lush perfume that clung to her skin and made her a little heady. Lights twinkled in the branches above the sidewalk and it felt magical to be there with him. There were many establishments to choose from, one right after the other, each one small and intimate. Patrons squeezed out of one doorway, wine glasses in hand, only to go into the next club a few feet up the street.

  She pointed to a bar that had a cat painted on the sign and he agreed with her choice. It was difficult to get through the entrance; the stage was right up front and throngs of jazz aficionados crowded the area. The look on their faces as they swayed to the music was ecstatic, passionate, even sensual. And the feeling was contagious.

  Alice felt a shiver deep inside, and her heart seemed to beat in time with the stand-up bass. A beautiful Asian girl came out on stage, dressed in blue silk. She sang a sultry song about traveling back to Louisiana, where her heart and soul remained. Alice was enraptured by the languishing vocals and when Anderson handed her a glass of wine, she hadn’t even noticed he’d snagged them a small table with two mismatched stools beside it.